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Writer's pictureTerry Diane

Love and Appreciation

Updated: Jun 26


In a world that often emphasizes ownership and control, it’s easy to misunderstand the true essence of love. Many of us are conditioned to think of love in terms of having someone to call "ours." However, genuine love transcends this narrow perspective. It is about appreciation, not asserting ownership. Let’s explore why valuing rather than possessing is the cornerstone of true love.


The Illusion of Possession


Possession implies control and ownership. When we try to possess someone, we are often driven by fear and insecurity. We fear losing them, and so we attempt to control their actions, thoughts, and feelings. This mindset can lead to jealousy, resentment, and conflict. Love becomes a cage, restricting the freedom of both individuals involved.


The Beauty of Appreciation


Appreciation, on the other hand, is about recognizing and valuing the unique qualities of the person we love. It’s about seeing them as they are, not as we want them to be. When we appreciate someone, we acknowledge their individuality, support their growth, and celebrate their achievements. Love becomes a garden where both partners can bloom freely.


Freedom and Trust


True love thrives on freedom and trust. When we appreciate our partners, we trust them to make their own choices and respect their autonomy. This doesn’t mean we don’t care about their actions, but rather that we believe in their ability to navigate life. Freedom in love fosters mutual respect and deepens the bond between partners.


Cultivating Appreciation in Relationships


  • Practice Gratitude: Regularly express gratitude for your partner. Acknowledge their efforts, their kindness, and the joy they bring into your life.

  • Communicate Openly: Share your feelings and listen to your partner. Honest communication builds understanding and appreciation.

  • Celebrate Differences: Embrace the differences that make your partner unique. These differences can enrich your relationship and offer new perspectives.

  • Support Growth: Encourage your partner’s personal growth and dreams. Celebrate their successes and stand by them in their struggles.

  • Be Present: Spend quality time together without distractions. Being fully present shows your partner that you value and appreciate them.


Final Thoughts: Love is not about possession; it’s about appreciation. When we shift our focus from owning to appreciating, we create a space where love can truly flourish. By valuing our partners for who they are, we build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. Let’s embrace appreciation and let love be the beautiful, liberating force it is meant to be.

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