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Writer's pictureTerry Diane

Important Questions to Ask Your Match

Updated: Sep 17


When you’ve been set up by a matchmaker, or even met someone through other means, it’s important to ask the right questions to determine if you and your match are truly compatible. Getting to know someone on a deeper level can be exciting, but also requires a bit of strategy. Asking the right questions will help you understand your match’s values, goals, and how they align with yours. Here are some essential questions to ask when you’re getting to know your match.


1. What Do You Value Most in Life?


Understanding your match’s core values is crucial for long-term compatibility. This question opens the door to learning what drives them and what they prioritize in their life—whether it’s family, career, adventure, or something else entirely. Shared values create a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.


2. What Are Your Long-Term Goals?


It’s important to know if your long-term goals align with each other. Do you both want to settle down in the same city? Are you both interested in marriage or starting a family? Discussing life goals early on ensures that you’re moving in the same direction and helps avoid potential conflict in the future.


3. What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like to You?


Each person has a different vision of what a healthy relationship should be. By asking this question, you’ll get a sense of how your match views commitment, communication, and emotional support. It’s a great way to see if your ideals for a relationship match up and whether you can meet each other’s expectations.


4. How Do You Spend Your Free Time?


Learning about how your match spends their downtime offers insight into their interests and hobbies. It’s a fun question that can lead to a better understanding of how you might spend time together, whether you both enjoy similar activities, and how they balance work and leisure.


5. How Do You Handle Conflict?


Conflict resolution is an important aspect of any relationship. Asking this question will give you an idea of how your match deals with disagreements and stress. Do they prefer open communication, or do they need space? Understanding their approach to conflict can help you navigate challenges together in a healthier way.


6. What Are You Most Passionate About?


Passion is what drives people, and knowing what your match is passionate about will give you insight into what truly excites them. Whether it’s their career, a hobby, or a cause they care about, understanding this part of their life will help you connect on a deeper level.


7. What Are Your Thoughts on Work-Life Balance?


Work-life balance can be a major factor in compatibility. Some people are highly career-driven and work long hours, while others prioritize personal time. Knowing where your match stands on this issue helps set expectations for how your relationship might unfold in terms of time spent together and the importance of shared activities.


8. What Role Does Family Play in Your Life?


Family dynamics can play a significant role in a relationship. Understanding your match’s relationship with their family can give you a glimpse into their values and how they might approach family life in the future. If family is a priority for you, it’s important to know whether it holds the same weight for your match.


9. What Are Your Expectations in a Relationship?


Understanding what your match expects in a relationship is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page. Do they expect frequent communication, a certain level of independence, or a particular type of emotional support? Clear expectations help prevent misunderstandings down the line.


10. What Do You Think About Money and Financial Planning?


Money can be a sensitive topic, but it’s important to discuss financial attitudes early on. Are they a saver or a spender? How do they view financial planning for the future? While this conversation might feel a bit premature, it’s a key aspect of long-term compatibility, especially if you’re thinking about marriage or building a future together.


Final Thoughts


Asking the right questions is an important step in getting to know your match. It’s not about conducting an interview, but rather about learning what makes them tick and seeing if your lives and goals are aligned. Open, thoughtful conversations will help build a strong foundation for a meaningful connection.

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